I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
