It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm like, not good at living.
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