I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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