so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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