I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We had to coat check the pizza.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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