I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
