i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
