Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
