I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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