she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
