MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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