she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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