She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
