He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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