I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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