I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
