Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
