watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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