your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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