i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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