can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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