Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
