at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
