never play flip cup with pint glasses
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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