I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize