Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
