WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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