I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
