coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
