Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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