You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
