3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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