Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
