dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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