Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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