I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
