I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i've created a new STD.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize