All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
