i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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