Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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