i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
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almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
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She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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