Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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