You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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