It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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