genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
