Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
