two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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