umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
