More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
