If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
