Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
