those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
