I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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