see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
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She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
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She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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