this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
