If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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