we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
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in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
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I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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