I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
