he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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