I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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