I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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