I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
