You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
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Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize