please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
