is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
