No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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