did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
dude. I can hear the air.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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