Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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